*From yesterday - it's not unreasonable for your boss to tell you that they are compromising the weekend schedule by asking you to work one Saturday and on Sunday a month, two weeks apart. If you don't want to do that then you don't want to work there. Also, a new joke: How many of my assistants does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just wait for me to do it.
*Don't ask for special discounts on top of existing sales. You know who asks for that? People that don't need it, who were spoiled children.
*I told you no, I'm not going to give you a bigger discount. No is final. Don't tell me I need to get a "definitive answer" and get back to you later.
*People is Texas are especially nice. Why are their politics so mean?
*If you don't like your mattress, you need to buy a new one. Buying a large dog bed and sleeping on top of it because your partner doesn't hate your mattress is ... I mean, SERIOUSLY, this is what you thought a good solution would be? Also, just because you paid $10,000 for something doesn't mean it's worth keeping if you don't like it. The solution of putting another brand new mattress on top of the one you just bought (because who doesn't need the $15,000 sleep experience every night) is equally silly. One or the other, but don't keep stacking the damned things until you get it right.
*In Seattle during the winter you should get to call in "sunny" instead of "sick". You'd be happier and healthier.
Have a great weekend and don't be a spoiled brat.